Another Draft and Some Things To Come
Well, I just finished up another draft of the script. Here are some things that I changed.
-Added character descriptions, for some reason I forgot to put them in. So those were added. Now you know what people look like.
-Made it so Clifford was in on it the whole time. I think it may be a good idea to imply that he was doing it for old math tests or something.
-They find the plans for the brain stealer in Cliffords jacket, as opposed to the finger prints. It's much more conclusive and makes you really think it HAS to be clifford.
-Added a scene of them planning to take on Clifford. It's funny and sort of develops the fact that Johnathan is a smart kid, but he just doesn't like to show off.
-The whole ending show down was rewritten to accompany the changes.
-The ending was rewritten as Johnathan was way too nice to her. Instead another mathlete tells her to get in the picture, as Johnathans quite hesitant about it. But he see's her all beaten up, so decides to give her a shot. She ends up getting front and center, holding up the trohpy, but realizes that's wrong. She gets in the back and acts normal
-Made the last of the four mathletes slightly more of a character. I figure it would be hard to get anyone to play the role if they didn't have any lines.
-Made Johnathan smarter throughout, he's not so much of an idiot anymore.
-Brought in Cliffords bike earlier as much more of an extension of himself. It's part of his character now.
-Brought in the love aspect of Johnathan and Grace much much earlier. Gave it more of a stronger thread throughout.
-More jokes! I talk about the blogosphere, which I think is funny.
-Johnathan is now a jokester
That seems to be it. A lot of changes were made and I definitely think they're all for the best.
Here's a link to the 2nd draft.
http://www.rdvproductions.com/forums/ti83/Mathletes_002.pdf
I also met with the Vice-Principal of Piedmont High today. There's a lot of great classrooms I'm able to use, but all the best ones are right next to construction on a building close by. I need to find out how loud that's going to be, but I think I may be using one of their chemistry rooms. It's sorta old/cool looking. I took some pictures, so I'll post them up when I get them developed.
Things are speeding right along, we're getting our props together now and I'm going to start working on the blocking/camerawork soon. Probably within the week. Auditions are this monday as well, so soon we'll have our Johnathan.
-Added character descriptions, for some reason I forgot to put them in. So those were added. Now you know what people look like.
-Made it so Clifford was in on it the whole time. I think it may be a good idea to imply that he was doing it for old math tests or something.
-They find the plans for the brain stealer in Cliffords jacket, as opposed to the finger prints. It's much more conclusive and makes you really think it HAS to be clifford.
-Added a scene of them planning to take on Clifford. It's funny and sort of develops the fact that Johnathan is a smart kid, but he just doesn't like to show off.
-The whole ending show down was rewritten to accompany the changes.
-The ending was rewritten as Johnathan was way too nice to her. Instead another mathlete tells her to get in the picture, as Johnathans quite hesitant about it. But he see's her all beaten up, so decides to give her a shot. She ends up getting front and center, holding up the trohpy, but realizes that's wrong. She gets in the back and acts normal
-Made the last of the four mathletes slightly more of a character. I figure it would be hard to get anyone to play the role if they didn't have any lines.
-Made Johnathan smarter throughout, he's not so much of an idiot anymore.
-Brought in Cliffords bike earlier as much more of an extension of himself. It's part of his character now.
-Brought in the love aspect of Johnathan and Grace much much earlier. Gave it more of a stronger thread throughout.
-More jokes! I talk about the blogosphere, which I think is funny.
-Johnathan is now a jokester
That seems to be it. A lot of changes were made and I definitely think they're all for the best.
Here's a link to the 2nd draft.
http://www.rdvproductions.com/forums/ti83/Mathletes_002.pdf
I also met with the Vice-Principal of Piedmont High today. There's a lot of great classrooms I'm able to use, but all the best ones are right next to construction on a building close by. I need to find out how loud that's going to be, but I think I may be using one of their chemistry rooms. It's sorta old/cool looking. I took some pictures, so I'll post them up when I get them developed.
Things are speeding right along, we're getting our props together now and I'm going to start working on the blocking/camerawork soon. Probably within the week. Auditions are this monday as well, so soon we'll have our Johnathan.
posted by Ryan T at 10:48 AM
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